“won’t do that.”


Eddie, a delivery boy, today has claimed to his long-standing partner Columbia, which he would do anything for love, however, has simultaneously claimed that he: ‘won’t do that.’ Columbia has exclaimed confusion at the statement from the motorcycle riding Eddie and has been in contact with (Newspaper name) to investigate the origins and meanings of Eddie’s claims.  

Having investigated the origins of the delivery boy, we have found Eddie to be a relatively cool guy, he has been a motorcycle enthusiast and seems to often dress as a pirate… well, he looks like a pirate anyway to me. But Hot Patootie, bless my soul, I guess that rock and roll for you. The leather jackets he occasionally wears certainly makes the larger man stand out, however, this does not detract from the large presence he gives to all who meet him.  

Refocusing on the subject at hand, Eddie has claimed he would: “Run right into hell and back” also saying “I’ll never forget the way you feel right now. Oh no, no way.” These statements from Eddie appear to be of great and undying devotion to the beautiful Columbia. However, after many re-iterations of his doing anything for love, he says: “I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that.” Does this perhaps mean that Eddie will not do anything for love or that he simply won’t forget how she feels?

All we can say is that Eddie is probably crazy, but he’s probably crazy and saying the truth. Columbia is probably very lucky to have such a man as Eddie in her life, let’s hope the delivery boy doesn’t get captured by any doctors from another planet and be picked to death or attempt to sing at a sports grand finale. You might be a good singer now Eddie but think about what age does to your vocal cords. Hot patootie, bless my soul, I really love that Rock and Roll, so don’t ruin it for us, Eddie.

Posted by:payapenny

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