Today marked a new spate of scientific discovery, coming from the illustrious ‘pointless observatory’ another pointless discovery has been made. The discovery detailed by the lead scientist Doctor T. Lucretius, specifies that the confined spaces which we find ourselves are far larger than first identified.
“You see the small space we think we’re in is actually bigger. I mean our bodies aren’t large cubes, we have different proportions. But because we think our size is based on our wisest point, we discount the rest of the space around our body. Thus, from this thinking pattern it is clear there is more space than we believe.”
Previous discoveries of a similar nature have come from the observatory in recent years, including their breakthrough on the phenomenon that is the nose whistle. Many avid followers of the observatory and their projects, point to their abstract science as ‘Everyman science’ the science that can be done by the Everyman but needs someone with a doctorate to confirm the hypothesis. The science in short, that has your average joe telling their child at the dinner table: “I could have told them that, all this science is just made up, why don’t these scientists get a real job.”
Nevertheless, we thank the Doctor for all his work on the subject of confined spaces, and thank him for bringing us another pointless discovery. We only hope that his poetry is better than his scientific discoveries.